step one:

1) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Why I am an alcoholic addict:
• I've used/drank, told myself I was going to stop and then couldn't.
• When I use/drink I hurt others including myself.
• I cannot control my using/drinking.
• I would use drugs just so I wouldn't have to come down.
• I would drink to feel "normal"
• When I was hurt or pissed off I would use drinking as an excuse to make me calm down.
• Drank/Used when there was a problem that I couldn't fix or had no control over.
• I would get irratated if things wouldn't go my way.
• I always felt irratable or discontent.
• I was very selfish and I would lie, cheat, or steal to get what I wanted.

You know the problem wasn't the drugs or alcohol. Those were just symptoms of my disease. In rehab, they taught me that ADDICTION is a FEELINGS DISEASE. Until I learned that the problem wasn't the alcohol or drugs I wasn't ready to complete the 12 Steps. The problem was ME. I had a problem with who I was/am. I still to this day am still trying to figure out who I am. I will always be alcoholic and I will always be an addict, but I never have to get sober again. The person I was before June 2nd of 2010 is never the person I want to be ever again.