questions in my head...

At times I sit and think-- is it good enough? Do I do a good enough job? What's good enough? Why do I think this? Has there ever been a time in my life that I have been good enough? Saturday will be ten months clean and sober... Did I earn these ten months of sobriety? What were my motives? Are my motives good enough? What's even "good enough" anymore? Then again-- is anything that anyone does for me "good enough"? Do I trust anyone enough to where I can believe them when they say "it's good enough"? This is supposed to be a new beggining-- but why does it feel like me just running on a hamster wheel of life? Constantly going, but I'm getting no where! When does it end? Where does it begin? Have I lost all faith? Is it I just don't have enough faith? Can I make that difference in someone's life? Can I BE that difference in someone's life? Do I make people proud? And if I do-- do I thrive on being told that someone is proud of me? And if I do-- what are my motives? What's my motives for everything? Staying sober, is it for the attention? Putting on an act that I am strong... Am I really as strong as I think I am? If I am strong as I think I am-- why do I let fear control me? Why am I posting this? Is there anyone out there that have these same questions go through their head? What am I going to do to change these thoughts? How willing am I to change it? How honest can I get to let go of the past and move forward? The past is the past... Why not let it go? Why not live in the now? Now is my new beggining... every minute of everyday-- cherish it. The hardest part is starting over-- let go of the things that keep me from my dreams- Let God take care of the things I can't control... but most importantly I need to pray, ask God to remove these thoughts from me. Keep my head up and do what I think God wants me to do. Then yes, that will be good enough.